Category: Uncategorized

Friends like these

In case you missed a good article about friends. Friendship by Makupsy
This is a continuation.

Facebook really corrupted us. We nolonger know the difference between Friends and someone you know. Even Twitter didn’t help it either when we faced to distinguish between friends and followers

Having met friends on Twitter and having had a life whereby I change friends in every 5 years,  not because of my liking but when I looked back I was amazed. In this life we live,  we make friends depending on the environment, situation or even nature of activities going around.

I have this friend I met on Twitter. I just love her. Pure love. We chat about anything and we just flow. Even though there was once upon a time “we” did a “disappear” from the radar, but generally I can safely count on her as a friend. After all “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light” – Hellen Keller.

I would love friends like these.

Then there are those people from High school or your community back home,  that you meet in a foreign  country or big city,  anywhere not home and because you share a common background they are also deemed friends.

Maybe that’s the reason why we can’t even define old school music. To me its music that I know that brings memories. If I don’t know it regardless of how it is and I don’t have a memory of it, well…

We often have situations where the trusted friends are only there because they benefit something from you. Stop the benefit and you all alone.

For same sex yes friends can be there. But for opposite sex , is it still friendship or its love that’s taking long to mature. For guys would agree with me that above 90% of them, later on, develop deeper feelings for their female friends (i hope that wasn’t the reason to be friends in the first place. Draw her nearer then strike).

Of the 90% who tried turning friendship into a relationship, majority landed in the friendzone. And you can imagine the step you make when you are that 10% that moves from the friendzone

My question is, is there a lady who has ever made it to the friendzone.?

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Beauty – defined

Here goes the joke doing rounds on social media. Not sure who to credit but credit hereby goes to the “unknown” originator.

A man dating three women and wanted to decide who to marry. He then gave them a test. He gave each woman $10,000 and observed what each did with the money.

The first one did a total make-over which included a fancy hair style, make up and several new outfits. She then dressed up for the man and said, “I have done this to make myself more attractive to you because I love you so much.” The man was impressed.

The second woman went gift shopping for the man. She bought him a new smartphone, a Rolex watch and very flashy clothes. As she presented these gifts to him she said, “I’ve spent all the money on you because I love you so much.” The man was again impressed.

The third one invested the money in the stock market. She earned $40,000 and gave him back his 10k. She then deposited the remainder in a joint account. She told him that she wanted to secure their future because she loved him so much. Obviously the man was very impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money. In the end he married the one with the biggest hips

Ahhhhh, men will always be men!

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The Daughter, Son and Mother-In-Law debacle

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Are our Mother-In-Laws that evil or it’s us that’s resistance to change. The diatribe has been ongoing for generation to generation and all claim innocent as it reach unprecedented levels. As the saying goes “grudges will only affect their holders”.

Who really is to blame? Is it the Daughter-In-Law? But again our mothers forget that they are/shall be also be Mother-In-Law somewhere. The mothers expect special treatment that they never showed to their own Mother-In-Law. How does this work?

Our mothers have personal issues with their Mother-In-Law, they claim that they are troublesome, if it wasn’t our grannies I’m sure they would have been called names. Trying to dig the root cause is fun and at times worrisome. Disdain and scorn ride sparkling in their eyes.

The issue for most of our mothers is, they believe the inlaws hate her for their son’s (husband) failure to send money home. Since mom got married my dad’s routine or levels of sending money home has reduced drastically. That’s her version. Or is it that our mothers have consumed some tomes.

Now that my mum has a son , will she be the nice “first of its kind” Mother-In-Law that is (trouble free). Will she be the perfect example of how Mother-In-Law behave? Having listened to her stories i see a revenge mission.

The grannies version is our mothers are being fast eroded by the lights of the city. They don’t respect them, they don’t value culture and they say they are of the modern world. They say they have the first right to their husbands. The constant jabs are bidirectional. Or is it because majority of the inlaws are ‘yokels’.

Haven’t we heard scenarios where parents say “I don’t like this girl so you can’t marry her”, its good when you are the deliver of such a statement not the recipient. Our mothers forget how it would have felt if their Mother-In-Law has said the same statement to their son.

Least we forget, the daughter will also marry soon. She will be in the same predicament like her mother. This is fast becoming a life relay. A Pass-On the baton to the next generation.

The question I need to ask all our mothers is, “how will it be possible for the new Daughter-In-Law to be a “darling”, when you can’t and couldn’t be a “darling”? I hope the girls are taking notes and the guys observing with keen interest. For one way or the other we are all in this together though nicodemously for most guys.

Will this diatribe of casting aspersions ever end? Both sides are creating a playground to exchange superfluous verbiage and out-compete each other in the faces of those who care to listen. It’s a matter of time, and
Only Time Will Tell.

Of the Bible, Banks and Books

The way Fear Markerting has gripped Africa and the world in general is alarming. What happened to

A Billion Reasons To Believe In Africa

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The Insurance guys, Funeral Policy/services, Medical Aid and of recent Prophets or is it profits, its all Fear Markerting. What do they all have in common? Very adroit, deft or dexterous with money.

All these people are just using the Bible (easier way to get rich quick) the Books (to get every dollar off your pocket) to fatten their Bank accounts. “Tora mari united”

They tell you what you fear most, instill fear in you, convince you that without their service when you die you will rot in your house, you won’t be given a decent burial. Honestly a dead man knows and owns nothing.

Men go to far greater length to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.

In our right senses do we believe that a prophet can credit your bank account. Are these Prophets even ecclesiastical? Or the congregation is easily eclipsed. Ok maybe in my profession i was taught double entry system. When you credit something debit something.

If your account is credited what will the banks do with this miscellaneous transactions. How is it reported on the Bank’s Balance Sheet. All of a sudden the Bank’s Cashflow improves.

It’s just pure logic that we need at times if not most of the times.

Our morals tend to weaken when we start believing in things that don’t matter.Expecting miracles in everything, majority of these fly by night churches make it a must to include the word miracle be it on posters or their sermons, mainly for attraction.

Paying tithe into the Pastor’s account, are we trying to personalise the blessings. Honestly this is laughable at best, ridiculous at worst.

But again those who do go or fall prey to such old tactics will go ballistic. Majority are temperamental, cantankerous and I understand that.

Zimbabwe is (was) regarded highly in terms of education. Literacy rate is so high but again that’s just the ability to read and write not ability to reason. For i know we shall never equate reasoning to literacy. We shall never reach ceteris paribus stage.

However, as that may well be the case, the bottom line is you are being taken for a ride. Time to wake up and smell the coffee

Facts are stubborn

Being a muroora (daughter-in-law) in 2015

Being a muroora (daughter-in-law) in 2015

The African Woman

Life with Dimples

I had a hilarious and interesting discussion on Twitter with a few friends the other evening on what’s expected from a black Zimbabwean daughter-in-law, especially the first time she goes to the husband’s “kumusha”. For my readers outside of Zimbabwe, when a woman gets married, she is expected to go to her in-law’s home and carry out some daughter-in-law “duties”. If her in-laws live in the rural areas, these duties include fetching firewood, getting water for the entire family from a well which can be goodness knows how many kilometres away, cooking on an open fire and even killing a chicken or heaven forbid a goat and of course cooking it.

Now, my issue with the above scenario is this; I really want to understand why people still place so much importance on doing things the old fashioned way? Take me for example. I did not grow up in the rural…

View original post 310 more words

The downside of fake nails

The downside of fake nails

Kana runako rwowedzerwa nemucheno

Life with Dimples

You know how it is sometimes when you swear you will never do something again and then a while later you have forgotten why it was such a bad idea then you do it again? Immediately after all the reasons why it was such a bad idea come flooding back! This is my current situation with regards these darn fake nails I got done last week. They look nice I must admit but goodness, I don’t know how long I can deal with the following:

  1. Fake nails and stockings are not the best of friends. This is a recipe for disaster. The number of brand new stockings I’ve laddered! Ugh!
  2. Messaging on your phone is damn near impossible! Soooo frustrating!
  3. Goodbye to any satisfying scratching. These things are blunt compared to my real nails. I’m having to use my hair brushes and all manner of sharp objects to scratch myself!

View original post 217 more words

Language Barrier

She walks to you, says something then she smiles as she takes a seat next to you. You return the smile but doesn’t respond.

She  looks at you again, wears an even bigger smile, whispers in your ear and smile again clearly showing her izibotho or is it izifoto. Now that makes one curious.

The language barrier that i have witnessed between the Shonas and the Ndebeles is quite sad. For the fact that i can’t speak the language despite loving the language hasn’t made life easier for me.

Its all a blame game but it’s not helping us as a nation. We have called each other names. We have peddled hatred all because we haven’t put in an extra effort to learn each other’s language.

Just as I had gathered enough ammunition to launch my well rehearsed approach, ready to conquer, there was an announcement that we are boarding and had to form a beeline towards the aircraft.

Curiousity got into me but eager to find out what it means i asked this tall gentleman for interpretation (exactly as it was whispered even though i struggled to pronounce the words) as we walked towards the aircraft.

Since he was tall, he bent to look direct into my groin and imagine how i felt when he let out a laugh. I felt embarrassed and was thinking is this the ” Adam and Steve” situation.

He fought back tears.

As i sat down to buckle myself to the seat, it all became clear.

I hope nobody saw my Hammer parked in the garage.

Beauty – Reloaded

The way man(humans) define beauty is at times mind boggling, obnoxious but also as hilarious as it comes.

They say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder which has been coined of late to, beauty lies in the eyes of the “beer holder”.

A friend of mine (one with dimples and she is beautiful) once said that light skinned people have an advantage in life. Light skinned girls are regarded as the most beautiful. Really? What are you looking at?

As a guy if you want to be quickly noticed intown, move around with a beautiful girl. Men will spot the girl 30 metres away before they finally see that she is walking with someone.

I once walked a few metres off my route following behind this lady. All i can say, dear reader, is that it was music. Just imagine the conductor of an orchestra.

But again men have gone an extra mile to confuse colourful with beautiful. There are people who are dark but beautiful. I wish i could put tags here.

Then here comes the models, pencil slim, tall and beautiful. Compare that to our African girls quite gifted and having a great future behind them. Just reminds me of this friend of mine, very short but loaded. Well dynamites comes in small packages. Now i believe that.

Beauty is not about what or where you look at. It’s what you see.

Seeing is not believing but if you Believe you can see

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NB.
(For this topic has been defined elsewhere in several blogs, hence the reloaded caption).

Food

Do we worship food. In Shona they say “ukama igasva hunozadziswa nekudya”. Look at all gatherings faces do shine all because they have eaten something.

At weddings it’s  all about “did you eat? I haven’t been served as yet”. Kumuchato kwakanakidza chikafu changa chakazara. Maybe this is the reason why presents are given soon after lunch. All about food.

Even in times of bereavement there is now a seperation determined by food or lack of it. At those places where food is available its now a “funeral” and where food is in limited supply now commonly called “panhamo”. All about food.

Even in my culture someone’s wife is also classified by food. “Mukadzi wanhingi anonyima”, “ndakasvika vachidya kana kuedzwa chikafu”. In some cases aiwa mukadzi wanhingi akasununguka. Kungosvika nekupiwa chikafu. Taitoita chekuramba.

A closer look in households when the fridge is all stocked up everyone is at their smiling best. When there is just water you can tell from the faces when you visit. When food is available you aren’t asked if you are hungry or not. You are just served.

In those times when there is no food you hear “ah ko zvamava kutoenda tisati tabika nhai” or “tanga tatogadzika poto pamoto”.

In the industrial sites as soon as the 1pm lunch alarm goes, tools down, even if it means just a few seconds for hitting the “send” button after typing a very important email. No. Tozozviona tadya.

I can go on an on but it’s that time of the day i have to go and eat. Maybe hunger is what drove me to write this article.

Wadya here hama yangu.